Saving Face for Someone Else

If you're like most folks, who speak before they think and slowly begin to feel the slimy egg smeared all over your face, understand that your not alone. You wonder what the other person thinks. How can your dignity be restored? Is there a rag big enough to wipe off that egg?! The best rag is when the other person helps you to save face.

When I was promoted into management, my husband gave me a sage bit of wisdom, "Think before you speak." I frowned at him, I ALWAYS THINK before I speak. That is until I shot off my mouth at my first all department meeting. Without flushing out a response in my mind, I just spit it out of my mouth. As every eyeball in the large auditorium bore holes at me, I felt myself sinking deep into my seat. My boss, who sat a few rows ahead, gracefully stood and told how she supported my statement in theory, and would consider this (extravagant) idea within the parameters of the upcoming fiscal budget. She winked at me and sat down. My blunder was rescued. The slimy egg cleaned up with a few gentle words.

Face is an important concept. As Mohammad Al-Sabt wrote in his guide to Arabian culture:

            Saving someone’s face or dignity involves using maneuvers or holding

one’s reactions to give the other party a way to exit the situation with

minimal discomfort or harm to their dignity.

It involves creativity, compromise, patience, and sometimes, looking the

 other way to allow things time to get back to normal.

The key is to act humbly and with sensitivity to a person’s dignity, especially when that person’s dignity and self-respect are endangered.

Find ways to help save face for other people. Put yourself in their shoes and ask, “How would I want to be treated under the same circumstance?” When we come to the rescue of others, we are ensured that someone will be there for us as well.

And that’s the position I took with my boss. If there were a situation that she needed to save face, I’d be there for her.