The Brain and GPS

The Global Positioning System is a satellite-based navigation system consisting of 24 satellites; orbiting the earth about 12,000 miles above us; making two complete orbits in less than 24 hrs; traveling at speeds (approx) 7,000 mi/hr. In a word, the Big-Eye-in-the-Sky spots where you are at any given time. Need directions? No problem. Just input your destination into a GPS receiver and a friendly voice will instruct you along the route, providing estimated travel time, mileage, and ample notice to a change in direction. Interestingly, our brain is like a GPS; sending messages that orbits within our gut-feel, our sense of intuition. This, too, helps us navigate our lives. But how we program our brains is paramount to the journey we take to our desired destination. Let’s consider three important components of our personal GPS:

Ursula K. Le Guin: It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.

1) Get Your Bearings: Does it seem as though your world is fraying at the seams that were once tightly woven? The nagging threat of layoff? The discouraging job market? The manic work place? The dwindling stock market? The pain of loss? Whatever challenges seem to haunt you today, know your internal bearings are still at work in your favor. Our brains are in constant search to return to a state of well-being, to create a new normal, to make sense from the senseless. The journey you’ve taken during previous life experiences have prepared you for this moment. It has formed your character, strengthened your weakness, and groomed your self-esteem. Now stand on your new bearings and focus. The endurance you exhibit today shall make way for a better tomorrow.

Ann Landers: Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

2) Recalculate: When we make a wrong turn, the Iron Lady on the GPS device helpfully tells us we need to “recalculate,” to rethink where we’re going. She doesn’t scold by saying, “You screwed up...again!” Negative words are poison to our self-esteem. So you’ve made a wrong turn, forgive yourself for the mistake and get back on track. Think positive. Say the good things your brain needs to hear. After all it’s working in your best interest—keeping you balanced, living in healthy reality. A mistake today can be a promise of success tomorrow.

Bob Richards: You are what you think. You are what you go for. You are what you do.

3) Find Your True North: Are you where you were meant to be? Have you taken a detour from your destiny? We tend to get distracted because we think the grass is greener on the other side of the septic tank. The hands that engineered your life path have also positioned your True North. Your North Point has been determined according to your destiny, with plans to prosper you, not to harm you; but plans to give you a hope and a future. Like the GPS, True North knows when your pace lags; when you’ve traveled off-course. The steps you take today may seem unsure, foreign; but True North never leads astray. All you need is to trust and take the next step.

Thomas Kinkade: It’s a simple liberating reality the best things in life are mine for the choosing.

The Brain and the Act of Imagine

There are three types of dreams: 1) Day Dream: a drift in our minds to a more pleasant imaginary place from where we are at the present moment—a short reprieve from reality. 2) Sleep Dream: Our minds create a story from the events/thoughts in our day and 3) Destiny Dream: The desire, the longing to realize our purpose. The Art of Imagine ignites our Destiny Dream. It is the finesse of the Art that nourishes the seed—your dream—to grow within us. Do you have a dream simmering inside of you? A dream is not just a dream. It takes hard work. Today, let’s hunt for our destiny dream. To set it on fire. To imagine and embark onto the path you are meant to chase after. Here are a few tips to discover the Art of Imagine:

Carl Sandburg Nothing happens unless first a dream

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1) Create a Plan: It takes a plan to keep a dream alive. Several times a day, imagine yourself living your dream. Speak your dream aloud. There is power behind your words, your proclamation. If your mind hears the repetitive affirmation of your dream, then it’ll take form and become a reality. Remember “Vision comes before execution.” We must “see” it in our mind’s eye first, then our brain can manufacture it into a reality. Once we engage in the Art of Imagine, a path will roll out before us. Once we take the first step, then all the others shall follow.

Cynthia Ozick: To imagine the unimaginable is the highest use of the imagination.

2) Discouragement: At any time while traveling to our destiny dream, we can encounter the heaviness of discouragement. But on the other side of discouragement is the next level of our dream. Allow faith to lift your head high and work through the weight that tries to hold you down. Fight back! Tell discouragement there are brighter days ahead. Remember your passion, that strong grip of enthusiasm you had at the beginning of your dream. You haven’t lost your drive. It still exists within you. Resurrect it; give it permission to carry you over the rough spots. Let the clouds part, the sky open up; showering you with hope. Confidence. Expectation.

Unknown Author: Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

3) Mobility: Put feet to your dream. Keep motivated, because motivation doesn’t see roadblocks. It only sees possibilities. Keep climbing. Keep seeing. Keep trying. Be poised, ready to take a risk. Risk ushers us to discover new levels of accomplishment by stepping outside of our comfort zone. It is then that the right people will join our journey. They are our helpers. They will keep pushing us forward. And finally be patient. It doesn’t matter how fast we get to our dream. It matters that we keep moving and following the path of our destiny dream.

Carol L. Brooks: A dream isn’t a goal to be achieved. Rather it’s a journey with lots of surprises. And with the right attitude, they nurture your growth and tweak your climb to success.

The Gut Brain and Brain Bug

You’re in a situation. It’s intense. But you feel peaceful. Something inside says, “Go for it!” That’s your Gut Brain at work. It comes by many labels: perception, insight, wisdom, instincts, gut-feel, intuition, the 6^th sense. It’s that small inner voice, steering you in the right direction. However, there’s a flip side. It’s called Brain Bug—a mental glitch. It’s our intellectual equipment. Ever hear this advice? “Use your head.” While this method warrants some credit, it has its limitations. Using your head only seeks an immediate solution versus gratification over long-term benefit, and creates blind spots in your inner-GPS navigation. To sharpen your inner-GPS—your personal True North—focus on the Gut Brain. Here are a few tips to help grow that 6^th sense:

1) Right Brain/Left Brain: The easiest way to understand Gut Brain and Brain Bug is through the physiology of the brain. The right brain, the creative essence of who we are, subconsciously knows that it knows. This is the Gut Brain. Conversely, the left brain, the black-and-white thought processes of logical thinking, is the Brain Bug. This side is the critical thinker and sometimes in its “shoot-from-the hip” behavior can miss the gentle leading of the Right Brain. The Left Brain is more dominate and has a louder voice. It’s important to slow down. Be still. Give your Right Brain the space it needs to express itself.

2) Use It or Lose It! Our brain is like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it gets, and the more useful it becomes. A good workout regime is prayer and meditation. Your Gut Brain needs quiet time. Then whenever you’re faced with anxiety, you’re in a better position to hear the whisper of your Gut Brain.

3) Trust Your Gut Brain: Don’t second guess the first feeling you feel about something. Because that very first feeling is usually the right one. There is a natural flow of things in life. But when you’ve gone against your gut, how many times have you found yourself at odds with the natural flow of things? We all get caught up in the business of doing and sometimes lose our place in the flow.

4) The Art of Listening: With the high-tech, frantic pace of life, most people spend their lives running. Never stopping to listen. There’s no time for the mind to be quiet to listen to anything. And then when a problem comes: trauma. Because most people aren’t in touch with themselves. Incorporate quiet time in your day. Listen to that voice. If you don’t, you won’t hear it. But it’s there. It’s meant to guide you.

 

The Brain and a Good Laugh

When was the last time you laughed? I mean really let hardy laughter rip from the depth of your being? Experts say laughter is good medicine. It’s a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster to bring your mind and body back into balance. Humor lightens your burden, inspires hope, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, alert. With the power to heal and renew, laughter is a tremendous resource and supports both physical and emotional health. Let’s discover the precious gift of laughter:

1)     Ways to help yourself see the lighter side of life:

§         Laugh at yourself: Share your embarrassing moments. Come on! You’re only human!

§         Attempt to laugh at situations rather than bemoan them. Look for the humor, the irony and the absurdity of life.  

§         Surround yourself with reminders to lighten up: Keep a toy on your desk or in your car. Put up a funny poster in your office. Choose a screensaver that makes you laugh. Frame photos of you and your family or friends having fun.  

§         Keep things in perspective: Many things in life are beyond our control—particularly the behavior of other people. While you might think taking the weight of the world on your shoulders is admirable, in the long run it’s unrealistic, unproductive, unhealthy, and even egotistical.

§         Deal with your stress: Stress is a major impediment to humor and laughter.

§         Pay attention to children and emulate them: They are experts on taking life lightly and at play.

“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” --- Max Eastman

Bring more humor and laughter into your life:

§         Smile: Smiling is the beginning of laughter. The act displays positive body language and sends messages to your brain that happiness is within your reach. Conversely a grimace displays negative body language and sends unhappy signals to your brain. So! Have you smiled today?

§         Count your blessings. By considering the good things in your life, you’ll create a distance from negative thoughts. When in a state of sadness, we have farther to travel to get to humor and laughter...and how sad is that?

§         When you hear laughter, move toward it, and ask, “What’s funny?”

§         Spend time with fun, playful people. Search for those who laugh easily–both at themselves and at life’s absurdities. This playful point of view is contagious.

Remember humor shifts perspective and allows you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light. So take a break and laugh!

“Carry laughter with you wherever you go.” --- Hugh Sidey

The Brain and Burnout

Going like 90—working long hours, burning the candle at both ends, setting the world on fire—all comes with a price. Unfortunately, burnout sneaks up on us and we don’t realize we’re toast until smoke gets in our eyes. Burnout is a condition caused by unbalance: charging forward in the fast lane, a workaholic, a perfectionist, stretching ourselves too far, losing our sense of “center.” What does burnout look like: exhaustion, illness, toxic emotions, anxieties, depression, utterly overwhelmed, when everything under the sun becomes too much effort. It’s burnout when you can’t believe under any circumstances, that you’ll want to have fun again, or you find yourself cranky all the time, going into a rage at the slightest provocation. It’s burnout when you feel trapped and hopeless, or when you don’t have a clue as to what’s wrong or how to fix it; because everything is wrong. How do we stop our world long enough to take a breath, to find a detour?

Pace Yourself: Speeding trains slow down at intersections. Even God rested when He created the world. We, all the more, need to rest, to pace ourselves. Our bodies weren’t designed to go full speed all of the time. Consider taking mini-breaks throughout the day, i.e. a short walk, sit outside, or if you can’t get away, then close your eyes, escort yourself to a hushed place in your mind.

Edna St. Vincent Millay: My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night.

Listen to Your Body: Your body will send clear signals when it’s tired, used up, burned out. It’s tough to recognize these signs when we’re living in the fast lane. But think for a moment: How does your body try to attract your attention? Through insomnia? headaches? stomachaches? loss of appetite? If we refuse to listen to these warnings, a bout of the flu—that you can’t seem to shake—could plague you. Or chronic fatigue may haunt you. Do yourself a favor. Turn up the volume. Listen to your body.

Stay Alert: Know when your passion turns to poison. The unanticipated outcome of working/performing at high levels is that you set a standard for your accomplishment, for your day-to-day productivity. High performance becomes an expectation. It becomes the norm, the standard. Burnout isn’t about raising the bar. Stay alert to the entrapment of burnout, and shift gears to a lifestyle of balance.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: This time like all times is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.

Your Favorite Things: Whatever brings you joy shall also give you hope, exhilaration. Make a list of your favorite things. Take a moment to ponder them, to enjoy, to dream. When was the last time you thought about your favorite things? A long time, huh? Today, do something good for yourself—do one of those things. Return to what can energize you.

Thomas Kincade: When I filter the sunshine in my life, I bask in the light of a transforming and inspiring reality.

The Brain and Motion

I had the opportunity to hear Jeff Triplette, Head Referee for the NFL, speak at a conference recently. He told of his early days in the NFL—sprinting with athletes double his size, running and weaving as fast as a snake set afire. How could he catch these guys in an error? Make the right call? Jeff asked his mentor these questions and the advice was simple, “You gotta watch the game in slow motion.”

Let’s face it. Most of us live in the fast lane—going like 90, 24/7; doing more with less; meeting unheard of deadlines, managing unbelievable workloads. How do we slow down? What exactly is the speed of motion our brains require to see the total picture? It’s the momentum, for example, we experience when we trip and our bodies ever so slowly fall to the ground. We have enough time to see exactly where we’ll land and what obstacles are in the way. That’s the kind of slow motion our brains need to react. Let’s consider the following tips to help us see conflict in slow motion to equip us to make the right call:

A Tip from Mr. Triplette (used with permission): “You learn to ‘see things in slow motion’ when you concentrate and focus your entire attention on a particular object or thing—like the movement of a baseball (can you see the seams as it’s traveling 90 mph, or following the pea in a shell game)—you must focus your ENTIRE attention on the object or thing at hand to the exclusion of all other things.  ONLY then does one begin to master the art of seeing things in slow motion.

“The brain and eyes are wonderful things—they can process so much information that when one focuses them on only one item the power is overwhelming.  Try it.  It takes practice and relaxation—you’ll know when you have it because you will see things you've never seen before.”

Norman Vincent Peale: In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it.

 

Take a step back. Instead of seeing the problem up close, step back, see the whole picture. Get a better view of the problem. Allow more space between you and conflict: Room to think. Create a distance that allows you to size up a situation. Like a photographer, who tries to fit a large group into a small photo frame, she steps back to expand the size of the camera’s frame. She can now make the right call on who needs to move where and how much.

Take a deep breath. Slow breathing enhances our bodies with a supply of oxygen. It is essential for the integrity of the brain, nerves, glands, organs. The brain requires more oxygen than any other organ. Mental sluggishness, negative thoughts and depression are signs that our oxygen intake is low. Purposely slowing our breathing cycle lowers blood pressure and keeps us at a place of balance. Try this simple technique: Inhale gradually to the count of five. Now exhale as slowly to the same count: In...2...3...4...5; Out...2...3...4...5. Give it another try, this time close your eyes. Let go of all distractions. Own this moment—a gift to replenish.

Saint Francis De Sales: Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.

Brain Hygiene

A healthy brain is much like a refreshed and sparkling mouth. Remember how clean your mouth felt after a professional cleaning? Oral hygiene goes beyond the care of our teeth. Its impact extends to our entire mind and body. Several researchers from the Kansas Medical Center and the University of Missouri have identified oral health problems in people with mental illness and have suggested that the cornerstone of any treatment strategy should be preventive dental education. Bacteria from an unkempt mouth not only reek like a herd of camels; those germs can slide down your throat and affect your heart. So the fix is simple: Floss, Brush, Gargle! What about preventive care for the brain? It, too, is subject to a state of unbalance that can be triggered by a bad report from a child’s teacher, a doctor, a boss, Wall St., Main St, etc. Before stress grips us with dis-ease, let’s consider the following brain hygiene regimen: Time Management, Integrity and Happiness.

Time Management: Usage of time shouldn’t be defined as “quantity,” but as “quality.” It means getting the most value out of the least amount of time. It’s being focused on the task at hand, not allowing distracting thoughts or interruptions to compromise the quality of time while playing with a child, coaching an employee, enjoying a good book. Time is irredeemable. We can’t go back to yesterday to recoup the time lost. However, we can manage—with quality—the time we have. Be a good steward of your time. Find your purpose for today and live every minute of it.

Robert Updegraff: To get all there is in living, we must employ our time wisely, never being in too much of a hurry to stop and sip life, but never losing our sense of the enormous value of a minute.

Integrity: When you do what’s right, you perform at your optimum. Integrity escorts us into a life of courage, a place of contented well-being. Doing the right thing will never fail you. So, follow your heart—make those tough choices. When you do the right thing, don’t let it go unrecognized. Validate your accomplishment, say, “Good job!” Always reinforce the behavior you want to see in yourself. A life of integrity may be a steep climb, but the reward is like soaring on wings like eagles to a higher ground.

Theodore Roosevelt: In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.

Happiness: Our body and mind weren’t designed to live with the aggravation of worry. Rather, we are called to realize our potential and to become alive with happiness. But sometimes we get tangled in stress where worry robs our joy. What’s the fix? Recognize that at the core of stress is fear. To rid the stress, give fear a name. Now you can better focus on a solution. Happiness is something we prepare for in our minds. Arrange your mind in the right direction. It’s waking in the morning, determined to have a good day. It’s putting on the garment of joy and shedding the heaviness of life. When there seems to be no way, joy paves the way for hope.

Bill Gatherd, Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts: Worry is responsibility God never intended us to have.

A Daily Brain Hygiene Regimen: Time Management, Integrity, Happiness!  Are you up for the challenge?

Brain Balance

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” --- Jim Ryun

How’s your brain performing? Oh please. This isn’t a rhetorical question. Just hang with me. Seriously, as we embark upon choosing our Presidential choice, voting the right person to set our great country in an upward mobile direction and all the other horrors of the worldwide economy tagging along, “How is your brain doing?” The human brain seeks a state of balance and when that balance is disturbed a great deal of energy is generated to get it back in balance. So, how do we maintain internal balance?

Live in the Moment: True living is always NOW. It’s not regretting the past—it’s already gone—wave good-bye to it. It’s not worrying about the future—who can anticipate what might or might not happen tomorrow? Awaken your heart to this very moment. Approach this moment with an alert mind. Forbid thoughts from the past and the future to intrude into your moment. Allow only “right now” thoughts. Ask yourself, “What do I know right now?” Then listen to the gentle whisper of The Moment. If you’re experiencing a financial dilemma your Moment may say, Right now the refrigerator is full—you will not starve. Right now the utilities are paid—the fridge is cold. Right now, life is good. This is your moment of discovery—stay focused on the positive things in your life.

“Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing.” --- Zig Ziglar

Live in Gratitude: It’s really tough to be depressed and grateful at the same time. When we welcome the moment, we embrace it with gratitude—tricky to separate the two. Recognizing what we have in the moment—naming the things that are positive—escorts us to a place of thanksgiving. Based upon the awareness of the Moment previously mentioned, think of three things to be thankful for: Thank you, my fridge is full. Thanks, my utilities are paid. Thanks that I’m okay...and you will be okay in the next moment...and the moments after that! Practice an attitude of gratitude—make it a habit. Living in Gratitude is accepting responsibility for your own well-being.

The Taste of Success

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” --- Tom Peters

I toted around a bright red autograph book my mother had given me for my 10^th birthday. Friends and family members would happily write something cool in it. But there was one autograph I recall all these years later.

Soon after my birthday, Uncle Dick came to San Diego from Hawaii for a business trip and visited us. I flashed my new book at him and asked if he’d sign it. His smiled as he thought of something to write. When he pressed the side of his hand onto a clean white sheet, I peeked over his shoulder at the kitchen table. He had beautiful penmanship for a man; I remembered thinking as his hand danced across the 4X6 page. I read his note once, then again, and thought it was the weirdest thing ever.

Don’t suck a lemon. Suc-cess

 Uncle explained that we shouldn’t suck on lemons. They’re sour. But to suck on success, it’s sweet. He leaned in close to me and said, success will give you a good life. He asked what I could do to be a success. After some thought, I told him I could do my homework, get good grades, don’t get in trouble for talking so much during class, don’t eat sugar from the bowl, don’t forget my manners. I would have keep chiming out this atta-girl list; but honestly even at 10 I thought it might be easier just to suck on that sour old lemon.

But a funny thing happened. That recital of good deeds I gave to Uncle Dick made me kind of excited. I wondered if I could be a success at school.

I wasn’t a good student. I didn’t like homework. Only one “B” hung sheepishly amongst the “C’s” and “C—‘s” on my report card, and the “B” was for P.E. The only reason I remotely liked school was to play with my friends. Other than that, school was a drag. But I had a choice to make: Suck a lemon or suc-cess.

Since success was a new concept, I thought why not give it a try. Instead of doodling or having combat duo with my pencil and eraser at the small desk in my bedroom, I bit my lower lip, trying to write neatly and do the best I could. I wondered if the taste of success was as sweet as sugar from a bowl.

One day my teacher, Krear, called me over to her desk when the class was dismissed for recess. I thought I was in trouble, but wondered how that could be, because I’d stopped talking to my best friend in class and I turned in all my homework. I stood nervously at her desk. A large wooden ruler lay like a stiff snake at the top of her desk. She used it all the time on the bad kids. Even I got a swat on my chubby knuckles for talking too much.

She said something that pulled my attention away from that monster ruler. She was pleased with my homework, but wondered if someone might have done it. I told her, it was only me. She smiled, saying how proud she was, and keep up the good work.

I nodded and dashed out the door to the playground, smiling over the taste of success. It was sweet.

Hello. Are You Flying Home?

Hello, Are You Flying Home?

You never know when you might be the highlight in a trip, a needed word, a special kindness...

I travel extensively and there’s one thing I’ve learned: An outgoing person, who flies for 2-3 hours without speaking to the person sitting next to her, amidst tight quarters in an airplane, can get uncomfortable and lonely. I tell myself, I’ve been speaking to large groups, being animated, answering questions. So I stuff my carryon under the seat in from of me with visions of closing my eyes so no one will bother me. Okay, so this is unfriendly, but I’m entitled to some alone time. Unfortunately, this lame excuse doesn’t make me feel better. What can make me feel better is really quite simple.

“Hello, are you flying home?” I ask the gal sitting next to me. Once she responds, I find myself wanting to get better acquainted. Sometimes the conversation ends there and we chat again when refreshments are served. Or we carry on a conversation for the entire flight, and before we know it, the 2-3 hour flight is over. I’ll occasionally meet someone who needs a sounding board or a word of encouragement. This is when being at the right place is an incredible honor.

On a trip to Sacramento, CA a woman dressed in a black suit flung a duffle bag in the overhead bin, straightened her jacket and asked if the seat next to me was available. I smiled and nodded. She fumbled with the seatbelt and let out a long breath.

“Hello, are you flying home?” I greeted her.

“Yes, I am and I can’t get there fast enough!” she said, nearly in tears. She told about being laid off after 25-years in a management position for the federal government. She had no idea what she would do next. She dabbed her tears with a Kleenex I had offered. I prayed silently while she poured out her heart, asking God for the right words to say. I felt compelled to say, “Now that you’ve survived this closed door, God has a new door for you.” She reached over, hugged me and said, “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. You’re right. God has never failed me, He won’t now!”

Then there was a young woman, who sat next to me at the gate. Her father had died and she was going to his funeral. Soon, we began boarding and I asked if she’d like me to save her a seat. She nodded. During the flight, she kept thanking me for saving her a seat. Even though we hadn’t talked much, what meant most to her was that she wasn’t traveling alone. Sometimes, it’s what we don’t say that matters the most.

I met another woman, who had recently married a man with children and she was having a difficult time as a step-mom. I had shared that I, too, was a stepmom. We discussed the challenges we faced when everyone—new wife and children—was fighting over the same man.

And I remember the lady, whose son had married a woman who didn’t like her. She didn’t know how to handle her daughter-in-law. I shared what worked for me. “Just give your daughter-in-law some space, be consistently pleasant and supportive. Eventually she’ll come around.” Although this is easier said then done, a mother-in-law needs to be patient or she’ll turn into a monster-in-law.

These gals are everywhere in our lives—at Starbucks in front of us in line. She’s the cashier at the grocery store, the young gal who is scolding her toddler at the table next to us at lunch. These are people, living their own story. They are a “who,” not a “what,” just like you and me. Ask yourself what keeps you from engaging with others. Is it that you’re afraid of their reaction? Do they scare you in some way? Are you too tired or too busy? What are you missing if you don’t start the conversation?

Saving Face for Someone Else

If you're like most folks, who speak before they think and slowly begin to feel the slimy egg smeared all over your face, understand that your not alone. You wonder what the other person thinks. How can your dignity be restored? Is there a rag big enough to wipe off that egg?! The best rag is when the other person helps you to save face.

When I was promoted into management, my husband gave me a sage bit of wisdom, "Think before you speak." I frowned at him, I ALWAYS THINK before I speak. That is until I shot off my mouth at my first all department meeting. Without flushing out a response in my mind, I just spit it out of my mouth. As every eyeball in the large auditorium bore holes at me, I felt myself sinking deep into my seat. My boss, who sat a few rows ahead, gracefully stood and told how she supported my statement in theory, and would consider this (extravagant) idea within the parameters of the upcoming fiscal budget. She winked at me and sat down. My blunder was rescued. The slimy egg cleaned up with a few gentle words.

Face is an important concept. As Mohammad Al-Sabt wrote in his guide to Arabian culture:

            Saving someone’s face or dignity involves using maneuvers or holding

one’s reactions to give the other party a way to exit the situation with

minimal discomfort or harm to their dignity.

It involves creativity, compromise, patience, and sometimes, looking the

 other way to allow things time to get back to normal.

The key is to act humbly and with sensitivity to a person’s dignity, especially when that person’s dignity and self-respect are endangered.

Find ways to help save face for other people. Put yourself in their shoes and ask, “How would I want to be treated under the same circumstance?” When we come to the rescue of others, we are ensured that someone will be there for us as well.

And that’s the position I took with my boss. If there were a situation that she needed to save face, I’d be there for her.