Hello. Are You Flying Home?

Hello, Are You Flying Home?

You never know when you might be the highlight in a trip, a needed word, a special kindness...

I travel extensively and there’s one thing I’ve learned: An outgoing person, who flies for 2-3 hours without speaking to the person sitting next to her, amidst tight quarters in an airplane, can get uncomfortable and lonely. I tell myself, I’ve been speaking to large groups, being animated, answering questions. So I stuff my carryon under the seat in from of me with visions of closing my eyes so no one will bother me. Okay, so this is unfriendly, but I’m entitled to some alone time. Unfortunately, this lame excuse doesn’t make me feel better. What can make me feel better is really quite simple.

“Hello, are you flying home?” I ask the gal sitting next to me. Once she responds, I find myself wanting to get better acquainted. Sometimes the conversation ends there and we chat again when refreshments are served. Or we carry on a conversation for the entire flight, and before we know it, the 2-3 hour flight is over. I’ll occasionally meet someone who needs a sounding board or a word of encouragement. This is when being at the right place is an incredible honor.

On a trip to Sacramento, CA a woman dressed in a black suit flung a duffle bag in the overhead bin, straightened her jacket and asked if the seat next to me was available. I smiled and nodded. She fumbled with the seatbelt and let out a long breath.

“Hello, are you flying home?” I greeted her.

“Yes, I am and I can’t get there fast enough!” she said, nearly in tears. She told about being laid off after 25-years in a management position for the federal government. She had no idea what she would do next. She dabbed her tears with a Kleenex I had offered. I prayed silently while she poured out her heart, asking God for the right words to say. I felt compelled to say, “Now that you’ve survived this closed door, God has a new door for you.” She reached over, hugged me and said, “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. You’re right. God has never failed me, He won’t now!”

Then there was a young woman, who sat next to me at the gate. Her father had died and she was going to his funeral. Soon, we began boarding and I asked if she’d like me to save her a seat. She nodded. During the flight, she kept thanking me for saving her a seat. Even though we hadn’t talked much, what meant most to her was that she wasn’t traveling alone. Sometimes, it’s what we don’t say that matters the most.

I met another woman, who had recently married a man with children and she was having a difficult time as a step-mom. I had shared that I, too, was a stepmom. We discussed the challenges we faced when everyone—new wife and children—was fighting over the same man.

And I remember the lady, whose son had married a woman who didn’t like her. She didn’t know how to handle her daughter-in-law. I shared what worked for me. “Just give your daughter-in-law some space, be consistently pleasant and supportive. Eventually she’ll come around.” Although this is easier said then done, a mother-in-law needs to be patient or she’ll turn into a monster-in-law.

These gals are everywhere in our lives—at Starbucks in front of us in line. She’s the cashier at the grocery store, the young gal who is scolding her toddler at the table next to us at lunch. These are people, living their own story. They are a “who,” not a “what,” just like you and me. Ask yourself what keeps you from engaging with others. Is it that you’re afraid of their reaction? Do they scare you in some way? Are you too tired or too busy? What are you missing if you don’t start the conversation?